Dobhyst Wasteland campaign

Placeholder topic for when I compile my GM notes to make a coherent sub-forum.

A cutout of the Golarian map showing approximately where you are. Quite a long way from home, eh Hel?

If you look closely, you can see Lena's Villa on Candlemere Island...
*Pulls electron microscope out of back pocket*

That map's there for scale and relative location more than anything. I originally wanted to post the full map, but it was drastically too big.


Map of progress thus far:



At their current location, the party is standing on a small mesa overlooking the frosty wasteland to the north. Facing north the Rockward Jim mountains trail behind you with several peaks almost touching the clouds. What can only be described as a sky pillar towers to the south with such sheer faces that it would be impossible to climb without specialist equipment, colossal physical strength and skill and years of experience.


It's sooooo much easier to add flavour text online...

Seeing Rockward Jim actually written down makes my day. flavour text is one of the main things that make play by post good.

Let me see... we'd just fought those cultists and bought an end to that annoying keening noise. Was there anything else? Judging by the lack of extra stuff in my inventory they either had no loot or we haven't looted them yet. Those poor, deluded demon worshipers...

So then *Ahem*...

{In Character}

Quibbler walks over to the slain wizard and picks up him by his robes/rags. "See? See? Summoning these things is a bad idea!" He slaps him around the face a bit. "Bad! Bad! Now, don't do it again! Write 'I must not summon demons' 50 times."
Quibbler drops the wizard's body.

You (Quibbler) suspect the man/body/corpse wasn't of much importance. Obviously he wasn't one of Lamashtu's favoured, else he'd have some kind of deformity or at least some identifying holy symbol worth more than a copper piece for 10...

Altogether, if you can even be bothered, you find:
8 flimsy wooden jackal heads
3 daggers
1 masterwork shortsword
2 shortbows
26 bone arrows (-4 att, -1 dam)
7 sets of ragged clothing without any monetary value
1 monk's robe
3 vial filled with different coloured liquids


This party might just be insane enough to get the deeper plot working nicely.

From your current location, you're going to have difficulty going anywhere but back. Unless of course you somehow have a glider, then you could just jump and hope to survive...
Just jogging your collective (singular at time of posting) memories, the path split near where the dwarves have dug in, with one path leading due south, through a canyon and one leading downhill into a deep, mist-shrouded gully.

{OoC}
This is the part where I wish I had Quibbler's Exploratory tongue.

{IC}
Quibbler looks at the vials of liquid. "Now, these look like they could be fun!" He takes the stopper off each vial in turn, sniffs the air above it, then dips a finger in to give them a taste test {This is attempting to discern the spell in them by taste: DC 15 + CL perception check}.
{On the assumption that it doesn't work}
Quibbler glares at the vials accusingly. "That's the way you want it, is it? Fine. I shall stare at you until you reveal to me your secrets!" He chants a little and raises a silver Jackal's head... and one of Torag's hammers for good measure and casts detect magic, maintaining concentration for 18 seconds.

{Dice notations}
first set is perception with a +5 modifier. Second set is spellcraft with a +7 modifier.

{Edit for dice rolls}
Quibbler glares at the second vial. "You think you're clever, don't you? Hiding from me? Well, see how you like being left here in the freezing cold snow!" Quibbler grabs his shovel off the mule and buries the offending vial in the snow.

The member 'Quark' has done the following action : Dice Roll

#1 'd20' : 9, 5, 9

--------------------------------

#2 'd20' : 19, 2, 11

Well, one of those is a potion of bleed...
Kidding, it's just a bottle of blood. Whose blood is a question best left unanswered.
One is a potion of Virtue. Useful huh?
And the last is a potion of cure light wounds, for good measure.

Don't you just love those random item generators?
Also, I still bury that bottle of blood because it wasn't playing fair.

I'll wait on other party members if they're dropping by before making a decision on where we're going to go. I'd like to head back and tell my fellow gnomes the good news.

Michael appears to be away from internet, Alex's character disappeared in a puff of logic awaiting his replacement and the others haven't gotten back to me yet.

Basically, you're on your own to make decisions as you see fit.

As you're no doubt aware, I'm welcoming of anything that scores less than a half on the henderson scale:
http://1d4chan.org/wiki/The_Henderson_Scale_of_Plot_Derailment

WARNING: Don't go anywhere on 1d4chan without a guide lest your soul catch ablaze...

It's not that bad....
Although to stay away from Dark Eldar, Dark Elves, Slaanesh.........ect ect any of those pages.

Really anything with a hyperlink...

So are you going to keep running that paladin until switchover? Just let me know when an appropriate moment shows up and then it's all clear.

I believe I was ditched at the first town we came across, in the first session. Last things I remember were a keening/buzzing sound and a white dragon egg. Hopefully haven't missed too much....if not I am sure I can make up.

You actually reached a cave and found a Naga corpse. At least as much of a corpse that you can get from one...

Admittedly, they didn't get particularly far. Only to the top of a plateau and to the stone circle. They then mutilated some nutters and nicked their stuff (not that it was worth much).

Oh, so that's where that story comes from. The Psionic one. Yes, I went there.
I have to say that the scale is... interesting. Positive hendersons look as if they're as much as result of the GM being unable to adjust/using bad rules. 1 and 1.25 being the prime example. 1.5 and above are... mostly not recoverable from, unless you don't mind Deus Ex Machina'ing things.
for the moment, short of attempting to leave the area completely, I don't think we could intentionally derail the plot, because we have no idea what it is.

Anyway, that aside...

I'd assume that the party will probably want the daggers, bows and short sword. I'll assume that someone takes them. The jackal heads aren't well enough made to add to my collection of divine symbols.

Right, this was happening in a stone circle dedicated to... Pharasma? Erastil? I remember indentifying it at any rate. I'd like to examine the area and see if I can figure out any clues about its function; maintaining detect magic to help me spot things.
Relevant skill modifiers: Perception +5, Knowledge (Religion/Arcana) and spellcraft +7, Knowledge (Planes) +9 (only possibly relevant).

I may make a special "I'm playing" account so you can be sure I'm not tampering with my rolls and you can see my character sheet.

You were able to discern the mark of Irori, the lapis-lazuli carving of an outstretched hand on one of the stone megalith, barely visible s after what looks like several thousand years of neglect.
As far as you know, this place doesn't get many visitors and there are no signs of recent life asides from yourselves and the fresh corpses. The huge dragon skeleton is easily a hundred years old and has been long picked clean of anything valuable.


Related to plot derailment, to get a full Henderson, you are required to perform something roughly equivalent to blowing up Hastur using conventional explosives. I agree that that's slightly outside the scope of this party (or any I've ever even heard of).

Jacob I do hope you have given me an opportunity to attempt to blow up Hastur. I shall do it.

I don't imagine he'll be making any appearances. I'll save that for when I run as a keeper for call of Cthulhu in a few years.

Ah yes I can taste the sanity loss already.

I considered a sanity mechanic for this, then realised Phoenix would be involved, and decided against it.

You have allowed me to play as a true N Character. This can only play out one way.








Beautifully.

Why would I disallow TN? I have misgivings about allowing evil alignments simply because they're so easily abused.

My definition of Neutral tends to change depending on the class played.

A Ranger will have a very different concept of neutral when compared to a Barbarian.

But neither will stitch legs onto a chest or go on a killing spree in a school just to steal crackers.

You know....Yeah.

I mean Phoenix's T'sheen was a True Neutral wizard but just cause he was neutral doesn't mean he's right in the head.
Hopefully my iteration of neutral is neutral? Passive Aggressive neutral perhaps.

To quote the Pathfinder Strategy guide: "Prizes balance or is indifferent to morality"

The Black Vegetable wrote:lapis-lazuli carving of an outstretched hand

Valuable, but not easy to carry. Otherwise I'd add it to my collection (temporarily).

Pathfinder Strategy Guide wrote:indifferent to morality

That can become evil very quickly if you let it, as I'm sure you're aware. Be careful with that definition...
My view on Good is that you need to be actively doing Good. Neutrality is more on the lines of prefering good to evil, but actively doing good acts (Or being mostly good with a small side of evil). Evil acts outweigh good ones; the axim of "save a baby, kill a baby" doesn't let you maintain neutral, that's just evil.
Although I suppose I prefer the peer review system of alignment generation. If your party thinks you're a different alignment to what you are, that's probably what you are; alignment should be derived from character and certainly not the other way around.

But anyway.

How's new character coming along?

Since we're apparently done here, even though they're big and boring... Let's head back to the dwarves. Snow's cold, and even though we can cope with it, it doesn't mean it's pleasant. I'd like to be comfortable tonight if we can manage it. Even if it's with dwarves.

That carving wouldn't be transportable by anything less than a large wagon weighing in at over 500 pounds. It also appears to be somehow melded in with the surrounding granite.

For the purposes of this campaign, alignment is almost irrelevant. As long as you don't need it for class feature, and you don't take chaotic evil to its logical extreme, it won't have any real effect.

(I imagine you mount your pony)
A fresh patch of snow covers the path leading down from the plateau. Despite the scree littering the rough pathway and the fresh powder snow, there are no "regrettable incidents (ie acrobatics DC to avoid falling is lower than 5).
Having previously traversed this area of path, coupled with the whole "downhill" thing, you make excellent time arriving at a crossroads overlooking the entrance to the dwarf mine before sundown.

"Ooh, what kind of blood is that, Human, Gnome, Elf!?"

"Not a flavour I'm familiar with. Maybe it was the cold. Things do taste different when they're cold. Like pizza."

"Aaaah, comfort. Even if it's dwarvish. Better than a slap in the eye with a blunt fish. Let us find ourselves some form of lodging, yes... Maybe these dwarves will be grateful that we've stopped that annoying noise and give us something nice. Like Sugared Cucumbers."

In case that wasn't clear, I go inside the dwarven place and purchase some comfortable accomedation with warm food. Oh, and I'll see if I can find the head dwarf to tell him we've stopped that annoying noise outside and they can take their beards out of their ears when they go outside.

The watch-dwarves grunt at you, they don't seem to much care. The one on the left, a particularly surly red-bearded one gestures to a pathway to the left.
"Beds that way, one silver for a night. The boss'll see you tomorrow morning."

(My schedule's pretty tight at the moment, so updates may be slow.)

Hey,

I know this is a late reply, just wondering what you're all up to

Damon

Excellent, Damon is here.

Basically the party has gotten bored looking at the spectacular view from the mesa overlooking the Wrebis gnome encampment and gone back downhill to the dwarf encampment.
They've been mustered into a dingy cellar-type room off the main cavern by two dwarf guards.

Quarters are a bit spartan here, you've been allotted a few wooden boards each to sleep on. Furs included.

"A silver a night!? You must be mad!
...Obviously the only comfortable place out in the middle of nowhere should charge more! Do we look poor to you? I'm horribly insulted! May your beards turn green and your brains fall out upon the floor until you increase the price to at least... 11 copper!"

I cast prestidigitation to turn their beards green make small quantities of pink liquid drop out of their ears.

I'm tempted to have the dwarves act appropriately to this kind of insult, but they's wipe the floor with you.
"5 silver pieces for you then," one of them says.

"Good. Much better. How did you ever expect to make a fortune if you undercharge people all the time? It'd barely keep your furs clean!" Quibbler stops and looks awkwardly at the furs. "...barely keep your furs clean? PRESTIDIGITATION! PRESTIDIGITATION! PRESTIDIGITATION!"

Seriously, I went to check up on this when I thought of this and I'm actually right! It costs a silver piece to have 4 pieces of laundry done. I've done them a service worth a whole gold piece. They should be paying me to stay here if I can do that.
Since it's on the same page in ultimate equipment, supposedly it's 2gp per night in a cheap inn. Although I am willing to bow to the superior might of DM on this matter. I don't want to short change these dwarves who are probably struggling to survive.

Well, anyway. after paying the dwarves, sleeping and praying for new spells (Anyone need healing first? I'll heal before we sleep if so), I'll go and see the head dwarf.

"Hehehe! Greetings, short bearded one probably worthy of great respect! You will be pleased to know that my companions and I have solved the problem of that extremely annoying noise that was around. Those crazy, crazy Lamashtuan Cultists up there were summoning some demons. I'm sure you'll agree that regular paranoia, psychosis and schizophrenia are fine, but summoning demons takes the cake. We put them in detention. Permanently."

The excessively long-bearded,small,burly,hairy, heavily armoured man looks down on you (a whole inch down) and says:
"Excellent work small one, them crazies up thereha' been givin' me bother for months now. Finally I can sleep somewhere out of the mine. Used to have ta sleep down at the bottom, only place that blocked out tha keening noise."

He looks out across your companions (who I assume have followed you).
"You've proven yourselves worthy, now this place is open to you. You kin buy wares from the quartermaster for a reduced tithe if you wish. My quarters are still off limits to you, and everyone else. If thar's any thing ye need, any dwarf not holding an axe, pick or otherwise, should be willing ta help."

He gestures to a fiery-red bearded dwarf who brings forward a large pouch and dumps it at your feet.
The boss midget then says:
"Fer yer troubles."


Upon cursory examination, it looks as though the bag contains:
About 30 very fancy looking crossbow bolts
An exquisitely carved handaxe, with a blade engraved in such a way to glint with the light in a crystalline manner
A pair of butterfly swords
2 Agate crystals
1 Citrine gem
1 Lapis Lazuli
A large hunk of Obsidian
2 scrolls
A large, jet black fur



And now you're free to do whatever you want. Direct me as to your actions, and the world shall unfold before you.
Remember that these dwarves are considered not very worldy, but they certainly know their way around the region and are quite willing to assist you at the moment.

"Hey, Prof, notice that beard? It would make a wonderful tea towel."
"I mean look at it, the texture and the rich variety of colors would make it delightful to hands and plates alike."

(Deliberate spelling, I am trying an accent...)

{OOC: Oh dear, I know just how I'm going to have to react to that, and it's not going to end well. Thanks for the encouragement :P}

I examine the beard more closely, making no secret of examining it. "Why, yes, what an excellent specimen of beard! I'm most impressed! Would... would you mind if I bought it off you? Please? I can put in a word with Torag to get it to grow back! You did say that if there was anything I needed..." Identifying these items can wait. I want this beard!

{OOC: What were everyone's names again? I'm sure I knew, and Quibbler would know but I've completely forgotten.}

Markus, you can call him m'lord if you want

"Ye are truly an odd one," says Grakhuil to Quibbler, "I'm willing to part with about a foot of beard for 5 silver pieces. Ye wouldn't believe how these things get caught in yer armour."

He has a bit of a double take.
"Ya know what, keep it. I've got enough money as it is. Gotta stay below the line, so ta speak. Damned Orcs can sniff out good wealth from thirty miles away."

"Excellent, excellent! Thank you!" I mumble the mystic gnomish words of magic (aka prestidigitation) and give him a nice, clean shave. And give his armour a good polish to be sure I've got it all, then start putting a design on it.

Something like this:

Prestidigitation should be able to provide enough force to flaten things out and plait things. I'll wander off and sit in the corner and make myself a little dwarf hair tea towel.

The rest of the party probably has better things to do than wait for me to make my tea towel, but I think I'm the only one with detect magic, so tough if they want their items identified. I cast it when I'm done admiring it and rubbing it around on Markus' face to test its 'delightfulness' as he so rightly described it.

That is a highly impressive scarf.
Once it's finished you gain a +1 morale bonus to checks made when in the vicinity of Grakhuil (the dwarf boss)

"Ahh, nothin beats Dwarf hair products."

{OOC: Heh, completely worth it. I was expecting to have to take him aside and give him a lengthy chat, while stealthily removing his beard hair by hair with prestidigitation.}

I look thoughtfully at the tea towel. "This is a good tea towel. I think it might have made a better scarf, now I look at it properly. Hmm..." I'll pull out my little notebook and start scribbling down some notes in Gnomish.
After a few rounds of writing I close the book and look through the bag, humming cheerfully to the tune of detect magic. How many spellcrafts do I need to make?

Unfortunately for you, only 2 items even remotely exude magic, and both are scrolls.
Closer inspection leads you to believe the other gear is either masterwork or just well polished (in the case of the gemstones and obsidian).